Dear God,

Please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots,

might nots that may find

a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots and

should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all,

Dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind,

my heart and my life all of the ‘am nots’

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the the thought that I am not good enough.

Amen

Two things can be true at the same time. Think about that statement. Sit with it even if you feel resistance to this idea….repeat the words again, two things can be true at the same time.

The first time I heard this I admit I felt some annoyance. But I quickly realized that my annoyance had nothing to do with the statement itself but rather it forced me to look within or challenge my own ideas, thoughts and opinions.

This is a very difficult thing to do. Most of us want to think we are right and therefore we believe we are. The interesting concept here though, if you can find the patience to observe it is that if two things can be true at the same time then it’s possible that two opposing viewpoints can both be right. Or wrong. It reinforces then the idea that we can each have an idea or opinion about something and both could be true or valid. However instead of conceding that another option is possible the EGO steps in and assures us that WE are right and the the other person can only be the other obvious option, which is wrong.

But is that really true?

When we are in the middle of an experience or situation we might say that we are in the thick of things. When we are IN the current situation we are most likely viewing everything on a micro level. We definitely cannot see all things clearly through the mud.

Of course when viewed in hindsight we sometimes can see things in more of an expanded or macro view because now we might be further removed from the situation. This is easier to do when emotions are not running high. Imagine though, if we could recognize our own behaviour pattern and catch ourselves in real time and try to take that macro view.

How would our reactions in the current situation change? If our reactions were able to change would it also change the response we receive? What impact would that have over everything or the end result?

The trick is to come back to the idea that two things can be true at the same time and as you expand your viewpoint you will also expand your growth mindset process.

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to it’s old dimensions

~ Oliver Wendall Holmes Jr

Take a good look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? I don’t mean do you like your haircut or the colour of your hair. I don’t mean your physical body and if you think something is too small or too big. Do you like YOU?

I have, many times over the years chosen to say the unpopular truth or make the uncomfortable decision. This always comes at a cost. There are always consequences. Sometimes you know damn well what’s coming and yet other times you really have no idea what will come of a decision and how it creates a ripple effect.

Perhaps one of the things that is most difficult for me is being a person that does not budge very easily. Or at all. Sometimes my Dad calls me Sable Island. It has become our private joke and he uses it when necessary to make a point. It always makes me smile, then laugh and pause regarding whatever we are doing or discussing.

Oh?…are you not be familiar with Sable Island? It is situated 300km southeast of Halifax, Nova Scotia and about 175km southeast of the closest point of mainland Nova Scotia in the North Atlantic Ocean. So basically the middle of nowhere. It is isolated and remote. It is well known for its population of wild horses. The point then of my Dad’s joke is that he’s calling me a wild horse that can’t be broken.

The reason I say there’s difficulty in being a person that doesn’t budge is because…well really because I KNOW that I will always make the hard decision regardless of how uncomfortable it is. This in turn actually makes other people uncomfortable. And its this very point that I find interesting. Ultimately most people will choose comfort or the path that seems the most safe. The irony of this though is that they THINK they don’t want to choose something that causes discomfort. They choose short term comfort yet in the end suffer from long term discomfort because they were not true to themselves.

Over the past two years there has been a global issue that has touched everyone. I have once again chosen the uncomfortable path. I realized a few months ago that my issue really is not about my decisions. I have not surprisingly NOT budged or changed my stance on anything. But what became eye opening for me this time was that I really didn’t like the consequences that I now had to feel, for the decision that I still will not budge on. See how that goes? It’s not that I am being stubborn for the sake of it. I am holding firm to my values and beliefs.

Today I witnessed an event which brought tears to my eyes because it was very powerful. And in that moment I can see how all the discomfort of the past melted, prepared me and it felt like I have waited for this day. I stepped back into my power.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional ~ Haruki Murakami

Yesterday’s story is one that I love because it hits home. It really is a wonderful reminder that things are not good nor bad. It is just a perception or story that we create when we attach a label to it. Finding some neutrality or not attaching yourself to the outcome of a situation is often difficult. We easily jump into judging and creating a story by saying things that are opposite ends of the spectrum. It was either the worst or most terrible day, bad news or bad luck. Or it was the best day ever, it was exciting news and we are on a lucky streak.

What actually seems funny about this when you are able to pull away and take a macro view of things, doesn’t it seem silly to constantly have such extreme and contrasting emotions all the time. We are continuously riding waves, up and down. That’s exhausting.

Being on an emotional roller coaster doesn’t really allow us to feel each emotion for what it truly is. There certainly is going to be sad, devastating and traumatic times in our lives. And its important to feel these experiences for what they are. On the flip side there will be truly wonderful moments and happy exciting times and they also need to be felt.

So I guess what I am questioning then, is if you are constantly labeling things as good or bad do we truly know how to appreciate and navigate the BIG moments in life? Because if we’re always up and down, having good luck or bad luck, how can we really determine our true emotions?

Ultimately using energy like this is expensive. There’s nothing wrong with being genuinely happy when something wonderful happens. Just as there is nothing wrong with being sad, say when someone passes away. But when you reflect on the story from yesterday perhaps we can start to catch ourselves in real time and practice the same mindset…Maybe, maybe not. Instead of compulsively reacting and continuing in the emotional loop or pattern that we have ingrained for ourselves.

Longterm this practice creates a far better opportunity for us to grow and further navigate ourselves through the ups and downs of this thing we call life.

Sometimes in the wave of change we find our true direction ~ Unknown

There is a story that I read this week. It’s not the first time that I have come across this story and each time it brings new light or awareness to my own life. Here is the story….

A farmer and his son had a beloved horse who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbours exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild horses back to the farm as well. The neighbours shouted out, “Your horse had returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to break one of the horses and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbours cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.”

A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg. The neighbours shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe so, maybe not. We’ll see.”

It is really impossible to tell whether anything that happens is good or bad. You never know what the consequences of misfortune or good fortune will be, as only time will tell. Things may look great at the start, but over time it things may not turn out to be what they seemed. In contrast you could have bad or negative feelings about something and it ends up being one of the best things that happens to you.

Everything is constantly changing. The universe is ever changing.

Trust that the universe is unfolding as it should ~ Max Ehrman

For almost two years I have immersed myself in a mentorship program. In some ways it could be described as counselling. It is not counselling. It is looking at ones behaviours and patterns while learning to connect to our own physiology. Breathwork is part of this and I choose to follow physical training that is offered as well. Each call is different in terms of what I want to talk about or what I am currently unravelling and trying to understand.

Besides this one on one mentorship I am also a participant in a group whom have also done the same thing. These two experiences combined are pretty incredible and potent yet are two different dynamics. The success of the group, or perhaps I should say that in order to get the most out of the group aspect you have to be willing to open up and share. This is not easy. Sometimes it’s really hard to be vulnerable with a group of strangers. On the other hand the fact that they are strangers makes it easier to crack the door open because you know they are there to do the same. Through virtual sharing connections are made.

The one on one is also a shared experience by both of us and it is for me anyhow built completely on trust and a willingness to expose myself. During my call today I realized just how much I was actually choosing to put myself in these potentially uncomfortable situations to learn and grow.

Not everyone is going to jump into this type discomfort for the sake of growth. I get it. There are however so many ways in which we can challenge ourselves daily. This can be in the form of exercise, trying new recipes that test our skills, it can be reading every day, learning a language or new hobby. It can also be trying to create a new habit or make an effort to change a behaviour or pattern that we see. When we bring awareness to what we are doing I think it’s important to acknowledge what we are doing or how far we have come with results or changes.

It becomes easy to keep chasing the next thing and not pause long enough to realize that what we have accomplished is probably pretty damn cool.

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves ~ Henry David Thoreau

The more I think about the perfect day the more I think there needs to be more elaboration. Yesterday I talked about not just focusing on the location or conjuring up some dream without taking action. I get it that we can all come up with things which we could list off as our perfect day. But is it remotely realistic? Is what you actually want?

It seems to me that as adults a fair amount of us end up spending an awful lot of time doing things we don’t enjoy or even want to be doing at all. So how does that happen? How do we get so far off track that one day we realize we are not even living a life we like?

I don’t really have an answer to that. But my guess is that we as we become older and get further away from childhood we lose who we really are and we work at becoming or maintaining a persona to please other people. We may actually like the school courses we take, or aspects of a job, and there can truly be many wonderful things to be grateful in our lives.

But what if instead of imagining the perfect day as some far off dream or unattainable goal we made it happen every day. Why not reevaluate our typical day to day activities and ask ourselves where were could make some small or even large adjustments. While there may be a number of things out of our control, what IS within our control? Making a few small tweaks to our lives could just be the tinder we need to create more action and inspiration. And if a few small tweaks are easy to maintain then they quickly will become habits. Which in turn we likely will be looking for other ways to make small improvements to our day.

Take a look at your day. Is there anything you would like to add or omit to your morning to get your day started? Are you able to set some time for yourself during the day? What about before bed, what does this routine look like? A successful bedtime leads to a better morning.

I challenge you to find at least three things that you would like to add or omit from your day so that you can create a better day for yourself.

Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it ~ Roald Dahl

I remember that in a course I took one of the questions was to describe your perfect day. Waking up to a view of the sun coming over the palm trees and ocean or watching the sunset in the mountains may sound ideal. But is it realistic? I don’t live near any water and its so flat you can watch your dog run away for weeks. So how do we then create our perfect day?

I think it’s okay and acceptable to have something in mind that doesn’t quite exist – YET.

A few weeks ago I commented on someone’s IG story about how beautiful the numerous pictures of evergreens covered in snow were. His response was, “Time to push the move button”.

This got me thinking…about that perfect day or perhaps its really about creating the life I want to be living. While I do not live in a mountainous region right now there’s nothing wrong with wanting that as part of my perfect day. Maybe as new opportunities present themselves and life continues to unfold this is something that I can work towards. Perhaps a move is part of my future story.

But this certainly cannot detract from where I am now. So there’s a difference in how this question is answered. If you’re answering it thoughtfully as though you have created the life you want or are working on it that’s one thing. However if you’re answering the question from a place of frustration and wanting to escape your current life then its just a dream with no plan.

The other side of this is also being realistic about where you are NOW. There is more than just one aspect that would make the perfect day. So while location or view might be one it’s important to spend time on the other key components to this. Let’s take out of the equation any other people that might be involved and right now just focus on YOU & ME. If we’re not living where we want how can we get there? And while we are working at making steps in a new direction is it not possible to have perfect days where we are currently living?

Instead of creating a perfect day for one day let’s find ways to make our right now have perfect days. What would make morning be the best? How about bedtime? Wherever we live there will always be memories which can only be unique to that setting or place in time. So while its great to dream and make a plan to create the life you want, remember that you life has already started. It’s up to us to live it fully.

Life is what happens while you are making other plans ~ John Lennon ~

I love the quote that says, Life must be lived looking forward but can be only understood by looking back. It seems like most people (myself included) can have a difficult time when we find ourselves in the middle or a tremendously hard situation. While we are trying to navigate the shit show or deal with changes, grief, loss etc it’s unlikely that we have the capacity to look at our own situation and either find the good or remind ourselves that this will be a great lesson down the road.

Let’s face it, if you can think of one or two BIG life situations that you have navigated, then you know exactly what I am talking about. Often the best case scenario is moving just getting ourselves through the situation as best as possible. When we do come out the other side, I wonder though how many of us take the time to reflect on what just happened, what we dealt with, how we felt and what we learned. Are there any gifts or blessings that came from that hard time?

We continue to move forward. Which I am completely supportive of looking ahead instead of behind. But sometimes it’s much needed to acknowledge what we have done and how that changed us or created the life or situation we have now. I suppose the most challenging aspect of doing this is taking full accountability for our own actions, choices, decisions and finding acceptance or gratitude where we presently find ourselves.

Take a moment and look at your life. Everything that is present now is a result of past experiences. We can label these as good or bad but the fact of the matter is that they are done. We can look back at them but we can only live going forward. Imagine you are the main character in a movie and you keep reliving the same day or experience over and over and over….until you have learned what you need to know to change the situation.

What if you started doing this now? You can wake up tomorrow and the next tomorrow doing something different each day until you come up with the result you are looking for. Who knows what else we may find by changing or altering our outlook even the tiniest bit.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall ~ Confucius ~

Of course when the idea of writing every single day wandered into my mind it was met with a slight bit of doubt. Would I stick with it and more importantly what would I write every day? I didn’t plan this out over weeks and collect a long list if topics and ideas. This couldn’t possibly be more off the cuff or spontaneous for me.

But let’s be real for a second. Sometimes there just comes a point and you know you have to be real with yourself and make the extra effort to make something happen. It’s easy to get caught up in so many excuses as to why something won’t work. Or oh! even better how you would be more successful or feel more inspired if you lived somewhere else. In the end, this is of course just bullshit.

There are people all over the world doing some pretty cool and even extraordinary things. And all these people live in all kinds of different places. They don’t become successful because they had the most inspiring house or apartment, view or any other “thing” which made creating easier. Some of these people don’t even have all the schooling, or courses or years of experience as another person but the difference for those who succeed are those who are taking action. They are just doing IT.

Instead of being caught in a loop of what if’s or if only’s I remembered a line that my mentor told me….Everywhere you go, there you are. Bingo. If you are unable to get started right where you are in this exact moment then how can you be better somewhere else? You will still be there. Just like YOU are wherever you are right now.

So today the reflection is coming back to that line. Everywhere I go, there I am. If I cannot give to myself or make a commitment and be reliable to ME, then what do I really have to give others?