What is your STORY?

What is the story that you tell yourself? What is the story that you go along with but have never agreed with? What is the story that has ultimately left you stuck OR it has changed the trajectory of your life and you just cannot see IT for what it is?

We all have a story. If you don’t have a story one might ask if you are really living or perhaps you are just unwilling to look closer at yourself. I think what is very intriguing is not just the story in itself but what the outcome has been or how the person has navigated the story of their life.

I have a story. But my story seems to only focus on this one experience. It definitely changed my life and while I know it is for the better I haven’t FELT that better part yet. So perhaps that’s why I still struggle. It’s like I am waiting for this better thing to happen or come into my life so I can truly feel like I have moved forward or start a new story. Instead I feel lost.

The details of the story are really irrelevant at this point in time. I think that once the experience is over the details will always be somewhat irrelevant. Mainly because, it’s over. What is important or relevant though is how you move forward with your story. How do you tell the story to another person? Do you feel grief or anger still? Do you feel betrayed or want forgiveness?

I know that it has taken me a lot longer than I would have liked to move forward from my story. However, I suppose that if I would have had the proper tools or guidance I could have started the healing process quicker. But there, in itself is I suppose part of the process. You have to WANT to do it because looking at things in new ways makes you relive some parts or accept aspects that maybe you didn’t see before. So the healing process can be painful.

I think that the further away I move from the experience the better I feel for two reasons. First time does heal all wounds. It doesn’t negate or take away the feelings that I had during the experience, but now I can view everything from a more neutral standpoint. Secondly I have worked at processing and dealing with so many aspects that I am less emotional now when I think or talk about it. That feels good and empowering because it feels like ME again.

The last aspect that has come to my attention was the idea that maybe the healing had to happen in a certain way. Like peeling layers of an onion. You cannot peel three layers down, you have to start with the first layer and then slowly get to the next. And although it didn’t happen the way I wanted or nearly as fast it IS happening and continues to happen.

It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

~ Epictetus