Minding your own business. This is something that in a way can easily become a forgotten practice and then when you say it to someone it can sound rude. I feel like we live in a time where everyone is always sharing so much information and seeking answers or guidance or confirmation about what they are doing. Yet on the other hand when you offer your two cents or advice it can be seen as pushy and nosy for getting in someone’s business.

I suppose that in many ways this back and forth just happens naturally and throughout the years or time spent with people. Whether it’s family you see all the time or a coworker that you start chatting with it seems like the progression transpires without knowing or thinking about it. It becomes part of your conversation. When someone shares a problem or situation and then you see them again we naturally want to know what happened, what did they say, what was the result. But do we listen just to listen or do we start attaching emotions to the other person’s story, after all we feel like we are experiencing it through their replay? This is where it seems like we have the right to offer advice or make suggestions because now we have invested lots of time with this person into conversation about whatever it is.

Life can teach you many lessons if you are willing to see them. And these lessons are most obvious when you are at the receiving end of the stick. After having gone through a long situation of dealing with people that could not mind their own business, and they gossiped, and they knew all the answers to everything (yet of course did’t have skin in the game) it awakened me to my own behaviour.

Now when someone is talking or sharing a problem I let them vent without stepping in or giving an opinion unless asked. Her is the thing though, even IF you are asked it’s still none of your business. So I am careful to answer the What Would You Do question. Because here’s the thing…they are NOT going to do what I would do. We are all different people. So instead of insisting on how I would do something I have learned to give a suggestion more based on them and what might be within their capacity or better suited for them.

Taking a step back to just listen sometimes has turned out to be a gift because ultimately not everyone wants help or solutions or to have something fixed. Sometimes people just want to talk out loud. And they just need an ear.

You must be interested in finding the best way, not in having your own way.

~ John Wooden